craigslist ad

An open letter to the guy who wrote the above Craigslist ad subject line:


I simply have to know:  what exactly compelled you to place the word “upscale” directly in front of the words, “TOPLESS SPORT BAR”?!?!   (Hey, at least you saved the shouty jazz hands for the appropriate portion of the sentence.  You clearly knew better than to caps-lock the shit out of the word “upscale” right out of the starting gate, because you’re classy like that.)


Nonetheless, I have no choice but to call out your oxymoronic word slinging.  Now please go tell all your strip club owning friends that words like “classy” and “upscale” are, at best, a tone-deaf description of a joint in which fine table linens are NOT used because all those body fluid secretions flying around would require constant steam-cleaning of said linens.


Thank you.