Ryan Gosling. (All those ‘Hey, girl…” memes floating around the internet are awesome.)
Matt Smith. (I love Matt Smith because he was Doctor Who.)
Matt Smith in a movie directed by Ryan Gosling. (Wait…what?! This happened?! And I wasn’t invited?!)
Matt Smith in a fantasy noir movie directed by Ryan Gosling. (I love fantasy. I love noir. I didn’t realize that ‘fantasy noir’ was a thing, but obviously, I am contractually obligated to love it twice as much.)
Matt Smith in a fantasy noir movie written and directed by Ryan Gosling. (He writes. He writes fantasy fucking noir. Not action-y, car chase-y stuff. That’s right, bitches. Fantasy fucking noir. The”Hey, I think I understand this whole female-obsession-with-Ryan-Gosling pandemic now!” switch in my head just got flipped to the “on” position…..)
Matt Smith in a fantasy noir movie entitled ‘How To Catch A Monster,’ written and directed by Ryan Gosling. (OMG!! DID SOMEONE SAY “MONSTER”?!?!?!?!?! WE LOVE MONSTERS!!! WE ESPECIALLY LOVE MONSTERS DIRECTED BY RYAN GOSLING!)
Thank you, movie gods. Thank you.
Wait just a damn minute….hold on….you’re making me wait until June 2014?! (Would the sacrifice of, say, a Kardashian newborn under a full moon possibly speed up the process?)
Fuck you, movie gods. Thank you. And fuck you.