It is nice to be reminded that the Internet is home to not only trolls, misogynists, Kardashian fans, and illiterate types (wait, sorry……are those last two items redundant?!), but also genteel geniuses, highly creative souls and 50 Animal Pictures I (Apparently) Need To See Before I Die whom and/or that I might otherwise never discover.  [Side-note to self: Remember to fasten thy ocular orbs upon “Britain’s smuggest owl” before heading into the light!]

 

And if a genteel genius is found lurking not only on the Internet, but within the often dank and disturbing crevices of Craigslist on top of it all?  I am forced to revisit many basic philosophical principles I’ve held dear for quite a long time.
The original post ran as follows:

 

Gentle Lady Seeks Ornamental Hermit

 

Me, a gentlewoman:
Of good birth and in the bloom of youth;
Possessed of vast estates and holdings, including a natural cave under a waterfall in the midst of my Edenic gardens, ideal for hermit life;
Of refined sensibilities and a melancholy disposition.

You, an ornamental hermit:
Not younger than 30, not yet older than 50;
Possessing a great, grizzled beard;
True lover of solitude;
Unafflicted by any social diseases.

The successful candidate shall be provided with books, water, spectacles, a cape, an hourglass, and food from the house.

Terms of the Agreement include seven years of service, during which you shall not:
Cut your hair or beard;
Trim your nails;
Bathe;
Leave the premises of the hermitage;
Accept money from my gentle guests.

Duties shall include:
Reminding all passersby of our shared mortality;
Living most simply, as our forefathers did;
Providing the lady of the house such entertainments as she requires;
Serving as occasional bartender at fetes and balls.

An etching of our last hermit is provided for your reference. Your response is kindly requested.

 

Do you realize what this means?!?!  Somewhere out there, on the other end of the Interwebs ether, resides a literate, witty and imaginative soul who crafted the phrase, “An etching of our last hermit is provided for your reference,” as a coda to this glorious outpouring of wordplay.  (Click here for the original Craigslist ad.)   It almost serves as a sufficient counterbalance to the existence of the creepers who populate the Craigslist Discussion Forum “Kink” sub-thread.  Almost.

 

Faith in humanity = partially restored.  (At least for the next five minutes.)