After receiving yet another poorly worded email scam in my Inbox, I have realized that I’ve possibly missed my true calling:  WORD COP!

 

The sheer ineptitude of many would-be cyber-criminals amuses me to no end.  A helpful hint for anyone masquerading as a major online retailer in a potential email scam: take ten seconds to have  someone proofread your scammy email, you illiterate jackass.  Case in point:

 

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HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.  Where to begin?

 

How about with, “…..helps ensure that PayPal continue to be safer….”  Or maybe:  “If this message sent as Junk or Spam, its just an error by our new system…..”

 

Correction: “PayPal continues….”  Also, “If this message was sent as Junk or Spam…..”  (Where did you study grammar, you asshat?  In a prison yard?)  (Although, logically speaking, you should have written something more along the lines of, “If this message was filtered into your Junk or Spam folder……,”)   If you can stand one more correction: “it’s just an error……” much like your missing apostrophe. (How does it feel to have your entire criminal future crumbling around you over a piddly little punctuation mark?!  I hope that makes you feel like less of a human.  Because it should.)

 

By the way, if you’re pretending to be PayPal, don’t use a fake eBay address to do so:

 

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In addition to coming across as wholly illiterate, you now look like you ought to be taking the short bus to the bank in order to deposit your piles of stolen money, too.

 

Need to report a word crime?  Leave a comment below, and I’ll consider taking your case.