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March 16, 2015

A Walking Dead Haiku Entitled “Eugene Grows A Pair”

Unlike his mullet,
Eugene is now ALL business.
That’s a fact, sister.
March 11, 2015

A Better Call Saul Haiku Entitled, “Mike Effing Ehrmantraut, That’s Who”

Who else could work cops
like sock puppets from the back
seat of a squad car?    
March 9, 2015

Paranormal Parenting: QUIZ – Are You Living With A Teenager Or A Vampire?

If the previous at-a-glance chart didn’t clarify the matter, the following quiz ought to be able to definitively determine if you’re living with a teenager or a vampire.   Circle the correct response following each question below.   1.  I suspect this entity is repelled by sunlight because: (a) Sunlight has an adverse effect on their unique physiological makeup which causes them to burst into flames.
March 9, 2015

Paranormal Parenting: How To Distinguish Between Teenagers and Vampires At A Glance

March 9, 2015

A Walking Dead Haiku Entitled “Alexandria Redux, Redux”

Look at the flowers,
Lizzie. Oh, I mean Sam. Look
at the cookies, Sam.
March 9, 2015

A Walking Dead Haiku Entitled “Alexandria, Redux”

You’ll dunk those cookies
in icy, paralyzing
terror, and like it.
March 2, 2015

A Better Call Saul Haiku Entitled “At Least I’m Not As Dumb As Tuco’s Granny (Don’t Tell Him I Said That, Though)”

Tuco, you servin’
chips with that “salsa”?  “Cane” I
have some?  [Rimshot here.]
February 26, 2015

A Walking Dead Haiku Entitled “Chill Out, Rick!

Aaron’s only crime?
He thinks you’re fabulous.  Eat
the applesauce, bitch.
February 25, 2015

A Sleepy Hollow Haiku Entitled “Katrina Kicks The Bucket (Or, Um…Cauldron)”

Fare thee well, bitch-witch!
And take thy rolling white eyes
and man-child with thee!  
January 9, 2015

Paranormal Parenting: Welcome To Life As A Walking Food Source

Oh, I thought of another thing that both toddlers and zombies have in common.  It doesn’t take either one of them very long to reach a very important conclusion:   You = food. And food = life.   Spoiler alert: there is rarely a happy ending in store for any person who can be categorized as a “food source,” either in film or in reality.