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Monthly Archives: July 2013

‘Teen Wolf’ Recap: Episode 8 of Season 3 – “Visionaries”

Written on July 25, 2013 at 8:42 pm, by

A.k.a. The Classy Episode.  Why “classy,” you ask? In this episode, there’s a near-constant score of crescendo-ing classical music and Wagnerian choirs as various characters recall sad backstory.  Really, you can’t miss it.  Not even if you’re deaf.  We also learn that Derek’s doomed first love played the cello and read books voluntarily (whaaaaa?). 

‘Hannibal’ Predictably Promises “Gag” Reel On Season 1 DVD

Written on July 24, 2013 at 7:41 pm, by

GAG (gag):  noun
1. to cause to retch or choke;
2. a joke, especially one introduced into a script or an actor’s part. Well played, Bryan Fuller.  Well played.

‘The Conjuring’: Zeitgeist, Meet Poltergeist

Written on July 23, 2013 at 1:19 am, by

The record-breaking box office success of The Conjuring suggests the movie has a certain mass appeal, and yet I sincerely doubt that the usual core scary movie demographic of teenagers and 20-somethings could begin to fathom what makes this movie so terrifying.  

A Haiku In Which I Explain Why I Would Have Been Watching MTV’s ‘Teen Wolf’ From Day One Had The Show Been Given A More Informative Title, Like:

Written on July 20, 2013 at 6:50 pm, by

‘Meet Teen Wolf’s Way, Way
Hotter And Older Mentor,
Who Is NOT Jailbait.’

‘Hannibal’ Season 1 Finale Haiku

Written on July 20, 2013 at 6:45 pm, by

What rock bottom looks
like: you force Lawrence Fishburne
to shoot your punk ass.

A Hannibal Haiku Entitled “Contradiction”

Written on July 20, 2013 at 6:43 pm, by

Riddle me this:  if
the rude are food, how on earth
does he stay so slim?!

‘Banshee’ Haiku

Written on July 20, 2013 at 6:38 pm, by

Were he a real
sheriff, I would jaywalk the
shit out of his town.

‘American Horror Story: Asylum’ Penultimate Episode Haiku

Written on July 20, 2013 at 6:35 pm, by

Threesome: alien
abductees, psychosis, axe.
What could go wrong?  Ohhhhhh…….

‘American Horror Story: Asylum’ Episode 11 Haiku

Written on July 20, 2013 at 6:32 pm, by

  “Disturbance in the
common room, Monsignor.”  Oh,

A Haiku Entitled “My First Love”

Written on July 20, 2013 at 6:25 pm, by

Sarcasm.  Swagger.
Your own Wookie.  You had me
at, “What’s the cargo?”